


What is you?

by RedChucks



Category: The Mighty Boosh (TV)
Genre: Gen, Genderbending, gender thoughts, genderfluid Vince
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-12
Updated: 2018-06-12
Packaged: 2019-05-21 05:49:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14909538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedChucks/pseuds/RedChucks
Summary: We really don’t have enough fics that deal with Vince and gender so here is a small offering! Short, not so sweet I suppose, but only mild angst.





	What is you?

‘ _What is you?’_

Vince stares in to the mirror as the words play again and again on a mental loop that the brain secretary can’t seem to turn off.

‘ _What. Is. You.’_

Vince would like to know the answer too.

Sometimes it’s obvious. When he had his red-streaked mullet, back in the days of the old Zooniverse uniforms, when he could slouch about in nifty hat and big coat and too tight tee, back then almost no one had mistaken him for anything but male. During the goth phase Vince is aware that the Vince Noir who had been booked for Goth Weekly photoshoots got the gig because she looked like Siouxsie Sioux’s love child. She’d wanted to get in with the goth girls so badly because the idea of having female friends seemed so perfect - she’d wanted it so much it almost hurt - but it hadn’t worked out and instead she’d spent the week moping about in 1950s style house dresses and beaded cardigans until Leroy had suggested it was getting a bit weird.

‘ _What IS you?’_

It’s confusing, which is why Vince likes the title of Confuser. It’s a nice descriptor but also a nice way of sidestepping any real discussion of the whole gender... thing. Howard might know the words to make sense of it all but Vince doesn’t really want to have that conversation with him. Because Howard might know the words and there’s a chance that if Vince came to him he’d actually be really understanding and helpful, but there’s also a chance that any discussion of gender will cause Howard to freeze up in an epic bout of Chokes. Gender is on the same page in the dictionary as genitals after all, Vince has checked, and Howard can’t deal with those sorts of conversations. The thought of having to ask Naboo to snap Howard out of gender induced chokes, of having to explain the whole thing to Naboo as well! There’s no way. Vince can feel the panic attack building already. None of them need that, it’s best to just let it lie. Even if sometimes it feels like lying on a bed of nails.

It’s not the gender bending itself that bothers Vince, it’s the feeling of being adrift and not knowing that’s the real problem. Vince is aware that the face looking back in the mirror is a gift, and the body, even when it’s slumped over like it is now, is a gift as well. Vince Noir has a body that confuses and arouses in equal measure, it’s the one thing they’ve really got going for them, but Vince wishes it wasn’t so... personally confusing.

“What is you?” Vince mumbles, but the Vince in the mirror has no answer. “What is you?”

Some days it’s obvious. Sometimes it’s obvious, inside and out, for weeks, and Vince finds a look and makes it The trend. Male. Female. Sixty-forty split. Genderless alien from planet Bowie. Vince has been it all. But sometimes it feels like there’s no ready answer, like fashion block but infinitely worse, like breaking in new heels that you can’t quite walk in yet and everything feels just slightly wrong, slightly off balance, slightly less safe than usual.

Vince hates having to dress on those days, and hates when people draw attention to it, which is probably why the chavvy words won’t stop circling.

_‘What is you? What IS you? What. Is. You!’_

“Vince Noir,” is the only answer they can give. Vince Noir, it’s all they’ve got. And today it’ll have to do.


End file.
